Aye yai yai

I have a wonderful husband. I have a gorgeous, sweet, happy daughter. I am happy.

Still, I know this is not all there is. I know there is misalignment with my spirit that is being ignored. I know I am not living to my full- what is it? Potential. It is one thing to ignore it, calling it a nuisance. To go off into isolation and try to be "free" from the world and the body, but I think that is not what our highest consciousness would have us do. I think Jesus was conscious and became such a public figure because it did not let him rest in the way things were, in the way people dealt with what they thought life was about. In that sense, I see why such people like Jesus are as salt of the earth. They care about souls. Just because they know how to live their lives in peace and love won't mean they'll isolate themselves and try to wall off the mess they see- they will bring betterment- what is needed to those who need it. Giving to them is just like giving to themselves, they really care for others like they do for themselves. How easy it is to get caught up in materialism and the self and think that's all there is- reducing our level of consciousness to our own experiences.

I think we are amazingly conscious of life... as children perhaps we saw and knew more than we thought we should have... but easily fell into what "fit" instead of living by consciousness. It really is hard not to.

Back to my fruitarian trials. I wrote publicly that I wanted to even if it lasts only for a short while, I still want to.