Fruitarian home

So, it's persimmon season, and I have been eating at least 5 a day. I'm considering purchasing a case of them ($23 for 25 lbs or about 50 persimmons), a case of bananas ($27 for 40 lbs or about 100 bananas), and having about 10 persimmons and 10 bananas a day with a couple heads of celery or lettuce, and other optional raw vegetables at night with seeds or nuts occasionally. I'll have a couple cups of defrosted frozen peas or green beans as well as mung bean sprouts to help me get closer to my nutritional targets.
Now, how much does this cost? Probably about $70-$80/week depending on the quality and selection of salads and raw vegetables. This would probably hold me over until orange season. We'll make a new format then.

Description	Amount	Unit	Calories
	Bananas, raw	10	medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)	1050.2
	Persimmons, japanese, raw	10	fruit (2-1/2" dia)	1176
	Lettuce, cos or romaine, raw	1	head	106.42
	Seeds, sesame seeds, whole, dried	2	tbsp	103.14
	Peas, green, frozen, unprepared	2	cup	206.36
	Mung beans, mature seeds, sprouted, raw	2	cup	62.4

Energy: 2705 kcal / 2186 kcal (124%) Protein: 53.8 g / 54.7 g (98%) Carbs: 655.5 g / 437.2 g (150%) Fat: 19.4 g / 24.3 g (80%) 84% of Nutritional Targets Achieved

General Energy 2704.5 kcal 124% Alcohol 0.0 g No Target Caffeine 0.0 mg No Target Water 3228.8 g 85% Carbohydrates Carbs 655.5 g 150%     Fiber 122.2 g 421%     Starch 118.1 g No Target     Sugars 384.3 g No Target Lipids Fat 19.4 g 80%     Monounsaturated 4.6 g No Target     Polyunsaturated 7.1 g No Target         Omega-3 1.3 g 99%         Omega-6 5.8 g 45%     Saturated 3.4 g 17%     Trans-Fats 0.0 g n/a Cholesterol 0.0 mg 0% Protein Protein 53.8 g 98%     Cystine 0.5 g 255%     Histidine 1.8 g 328%     Isoleucine 1.9 g 182%     Leucine 3.4 g 164%     Lysine 2.8 g 175%     Methionine 0.7 g 123%     Phenylalanine 2.3 g 351%     Threonine 1.9 g 239%     Tryptophan 0.6 g 271%     Tyrosine 1.1 g 159%     Valine 2.5 g 177%

Vitamins B1 (Thiamine) 2.3 mg 167% B12 (Cobalamin) 0.0 µg 0% B2 (Riboflavin) 2.2 mg 137% B3 (Niacin) 18.5 mg 109% B5 (Pantothenic Acid) 7.1 mg 101% B6 (Pyridoxine) 7.0 mg 351% Folate 1508.1 µg 302% Vitamin A 88174.1 IU 2035% Vitamin C 329.4 mg 274% Vitamin D 0.0 IU 0% Vitamin E 14.6 mg 77% Vitamin K 834.6 µg 927% Minerals Calcium 661.5 mg 66% Copper 4.5 mg 348% Iron 20.3 mg 225% Magnesium 734.0 mg 237% Manganese 11.9 mg 456% Phosphorus 1178.3 mg 168% Potassium 9279.6 mg 182% Selenium 36.9 µg 53% Sodium 382.6 mg 26% Zinc 9.5 mg 79%

Determined

Alright. I'm determined to just eat raw fruits, veg, nuts, and sprouts today. The man of my life has been doing this for a little over a week and has been level headed, calm, focused, more energetic and with greater stamina playing sports. I will start today.

Seeking

Dreams... they'll reflect what is going on in my subconscious, and for that I am grateful to have them to reflect upon. Mine told me I need to wake up to my consciousness.
To sense with my consciousness, to listen. To choose.
I see a way for me to do this. I have to just start off blocking off all the offenders in my body; the ones that skew my chemistry. Kind of like a recovering drug addict just cannot even consider setting on a path that allows drugs back in- there is no being okay with moderation "with a healthy mind". For me, the following are major offenders:
*Meat
*Animal fats
*Chocolate
*Kimchi
*Fermented paste
*Hot peppers

What happens when I consume those? I can think my thoughts, but I can't feel the subtle beautiful tones in my life anymore. My quality of life diminishes. It's like feeling the hard self-inflicted emotions, but not picking up on the chords of Nature continually playing. It brings me back to an experience I recall. I was eating a raw vegan diet consistently for a few weeks, and I had strawberry ice cream sandwiches that evening. I'd felt pretty happy while eating it. However, the next day, I couldn't feel the magic anymore. It was a grim reality to face; it would take a few days to a week of continually eating raw to feel that again. Instead, I'd felt blocked up and my chakrahs were clogged.
In the morning I feel fresh; inspired; happiest. When I give myself the food, I feel my vibes go down a bit. My thought now is to keep choosing raw and fresh foods. See what happens. When I have felt good again before, I let myself have some cooked food to feel like I'm a little more normal. I think a little bit is okay now and then. However, I want to go all the way. Stay humble, awake, vigilant.
That's just a small quiet thought. However, I feel it everyday, and I want to make it a possibility that I can see and feel restoring the beauty in life.
I trust my senses.

Bravely proceed

Been seeking to get life clean, to feel I'm at my best. Well, detox hit me intensely all at once. The sense of disgust at cooked, oily, proteinacious food is just plain undeniable. I was hit with a major headache, nausea, and fatigue. How? Well, my monthly cycle had resumed just last month and came upon me at the same time as my decision to cleanse, and gave it a boost. So do I proceed bravely or take a dip back into C-O-P foods again to slow the symptoms down? Well, I had a least decided I didn't want to go back during my intense detox moments, and after my nap with my sweet dear one year old son, I am feeling all better.
Why must I do this?
I know about it. I've known it to bring me to my best. It's always in my field of awareness. Now I'm bringing it to life. My life just plain won't be as fulfilling without it. I need this truth to flow from in my life.

Conviction

I feel I'd been holding myself back from doing what's best for me. Things take away from my sense of self. I need it more than anything; a handle over my own life... Not as a follower but living by the heart; my own, in alignment with something greater being inspired. I love this chance to live it. No reliance on anyone, but trust in my living by what I feel I've always wanted to feel. Grace, truth, freedom, sparks, peace, light, transparency. A symphony of feelings. For my creator, for me. Love.

My True Experience

My experiences have been crude as of late. Been hard to see the truth in all. My mind has been abrasive. I've been through better experiences. One thing that always remains pure and true though is my love for my precious daughter I love with all my heart. I know my husband's love for me is true too. : )

I want to seek to be better. To have one high level of consciousness I stay true to, I heed to. I want it to always be there. I want to exude what it is so people can be in contact with it. It's what we all want to know is there. I want to feel the distinction between doubt and the knowing in it that is not revealed to the mind. I want to feel when people speak words and to recognize those limits. I want to be utterly free of the bonds of my mind. 

Are we more light or body? Are we the know-er or the known? I am not the known, the body. It breathes me. Sometimes I go for long lengths of time thinking I am the body. I am so connected to it though. It is a part of the known that I am able to experience. 

This freedom... I'd like to speak it everyday. 

The ground you have

Whenever I was able to go fruity, it was always from an inspiration I could harness. I don't think it could happen beautifully if I focused on rules and on the outside. Too much beauty to be appreciated : )

I recently came from a not-good place. Announcing it, even if just for a social update, puts the focus on something unworthy. Unless I can know that what I *tend* to do is not where I am coming from, false factors get involved in the process.

I want to be truthful in all I am, all I say, all I do.

Thank you for signals, for feedback, for the listening-sensing being that allows for sight.

With ♥